OCD and demand avoidance

OCD goes a little something like this:

ocd

demand avoidance goes a little like this:

demand avoidance

For me, having both OCD and demand avoidance, when I experienced (some) bad thoughts, the process went a little differently:

ocd pda

Something like that.

For some aspects of my OCD, I would experience the negative thoughts and would feel the need to act on compulsions to stop the bad thoughts from coming true, but then my demand avoidance would kick in, preventing me from carrying out the compulsions. I would be left unable to do anything to make myself feel better or prevent the negative things which ‘would’ (I thought) happen. I would feel anxious about not being able to do the things I needed to do but would be (often physically) unable to do anything about it. This was a double edged sword. Whilst I didn’t act out many of my compulsions which could have been bad for me, I was left with no relief from the bad thoughts. Any relief I did manage to get though, was short lived anyway.

Luckily I found a way around both things and managed to get most of my OCD under control. For a long time though I was left sitting, unable to move for fear and anxiety and paralysed by avoidance. Some days I can utilise my demand avoidance to control my compulsions (and sometimes even my obsessions/bad thoughts), some days I can use my OCD to override my demand avoidance (though that’s less likely to be possible) and other days I struggle to have any grip on either. Those lovely days though where I don’t have either preventing me from living my life, those are the days worth living for.

 

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2 thoughts on “OCD and demand avoidance

  1. I have OCPD and my younger brother has PDA. Our mum has to go away for work in the weekdays so I’m left in charge of the state of the house fairly often. As you can imagine, it can be a little rough when one person must have everything done a certain way and the other can’t do it that way. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have both; from the sounds of it, you’re doing a lot better than others might, keep going 🙂

    1. Thanks 🙂 that must be difficult for both of you, I can imagine. You need everything done a certain way and his demand avoidance kicks in whenever stuff needs doing, must be hard to get anything done right. I struggle to manage my own conditions so I can imagine having to manage another person’s too. I’m sure you’re going a great job 😀

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