Reasons for avoidance

There are many different reasons why a person will avoid something. Whilst most PDA demand avoidance stems from anxiety, the reason for the anxiety may be different each time. Knowing why something causes demand avoidance might help reduce anxiety by accommodating needs to ensure the reasons for demand avoidance are reduced. Experience – having had […]

The Unavoidable Demands

The Unavoidable Demands There are some demands which, no matter how hard we try, we PDAers cannot avoid. Because anything and everything can be perceived as a demand to us, there will naturally be some demands which are difficult or impossible to avoid altogether. This can cause a lot of stress. Since our brains believe […]

PDA oppositional behaviour

Oppositional behaviour – where a person behaves in a way that is opposite to what is expected by themselves and/or others. Many people dislike this term, especially when it’s used to describe PDAers who wont do what people have told them to do. They’re not conforming to authority and so they are being oppositional.¬†Perhaps the […]

It’s not the movies that are scary

I don’t mind horror movies. They can be rather boring and weird and sometimes the plot lines don’t make sense, but overall, they don’t really scare me. I know they are played by actors using make-up and CGI and props. I can easily rationalise over the scary parts. What scares me is when the writing […]


Alexithymia or ‘how to recognise anxiety in your child when you don’t recognise it in yourself’. Alexithymia (Alexi for short)¬†is difficulty recognising, understanding and/or feeling emotions. Some Alexi people don’t feel any emotions at all, some can feel some emotions, some feel like their emotions are distant as if through dense fog. Some Alexi people […]

A is for Avoidance.

A is for Avoidance. Avoidance is the act of keeping away from something, a fitting action then to the fear that demand evokes. When a person avoids something they go out of their way to make sure they don’t go near the thing, to not think about the thing, to not feel the thing or […]

D is for Demand.

D is for Demand. A demand is an insistent and peremptory (good word, it means insisting on immediate attention or obedience) request. Basically, anything that someone has ordered to be done right away with no choice of inaction. It seems that the word demand is synonymous to obedience (and people wonder why we resist). To […]