Why arrangements don’t always work with PDAers

I know most parents at some point will try to agree an arrangement with their kid/s, ‘you do this and I’ll do that’ or ‘if you don’t do that then I’ll do this’. It’s a good concept, a little give and take between two people, coming to a compromise between two opposing forces which may […]

The downfall of coping strategies

Coping strategies are supposed to help us manage issues, they provide us with a way of managing areas which are difficulties in our lives. Some work perfectly without any negative repercussions, however, some coping strategies can have the opposite effect. For me, I’ve noticed that some of my strategies for managing Demand Avoidance, while being […]

Reasons for avoidance

There are many different reasons why a person will avoid something. Whilst most PDA demand avoidance stems from anxiety, the reason for the anxiety may be different each time. Knowing why something causes demand avoidance might help reduce anxiety by accommodating needs to ensure the reasons for demand avoidance are reduced. Experience – having had […]

Is anxiety at the root of PDA?

I’ve been doing some thinking (actually I never stop thinking haha my brain doesn’t have an off button), is anxiety really at the root of Pathological Demand Avoidance? Or is there something else. A couple of years ago, if you’d asked me if I ever felt anxious I’d have laughed and said “nope, I never […]

“I don’t like demands either”

There are times when people who share their diagnosis and/or explain traits of PDA, they are told “Oh, I do that too” or I don’t like demands either”. These comments come from people who are either trying to find common ground with the sharer by saying that they too have similar issues, or they are […]

Demand avoidance: when there’s nothing there

Demand avoidance: when there’s nothing there We all know the process. Child acts out, parent goes searching for the cause in order to help child and prevent future occurrence of negative behaviour. This makes sense. Find the cause and you’ll ‘correct’ the behaviour. After all, all behaviour is communication. But what happens when the parent […]