Why arrangements don’t always work with PDAers

I know most parents at some point will try to agree an arrangement with their kid/s, ‘you do this and I’ll do that’ or ‘if you don’t do that then I’ll do this’. It’s a good concept, a little give and take between two people, coming to a compromise between two opposing forces which may […]

We can’t avoid all Demands

I’ve seen a few comments from parents who have been told by so called professionals that their child cannot have PDA because ‘they cooperate some of the time’. It seems some people believe that PDAers cannot do anything, ever. This shows a basic lack of understanding of what PDA is. The words ‘struggles’ and ‘difficulties’ […]

The consequences of not avoiding

Some might think that not avoiding demands is a good thing, that it means we can do all the stuff regular people do, that pushing through demand avoidance can only lead to a better life. However, there are consequences to not avoiding demands. I’ve been trying to do more than normal recently, seeing the bridge […]

More tips for parenting your PDA child.

Due to demands being so hard for PDA people to take, the way you verbalise demands is very important. Since every child is different, even within PDA, what might work for one may not work for another. PDA children also have a tendency to prefer novelty, which is why new tactics may work for a short […]

The Unavoidable Demands

The Unavoidable Demands There are some demands which, no matter how hard we try, we PDAers cannot avoid. Because anything and everything can be perceived as a demand to us, there will naturally be some demands which are difficult or impossible to avoid altogether. This can cause a lot of stress. Since our brains believe […]


I’ve heard it said that us PDAers don’t feel shame, that we are unmoved by the shameful behaviours we display, behaviours that would cause others to stop and think before they act. This isn’t especially true. Maybe it’s accurate for some, but for the majority of us, we definitely do feel shame, in fact, we […]