PDA by PDAers book review

I received the book ‘PDA by PDAers’ for the purpose of this review.


PDA by PDAers: From Anxiety to Avoidance and Masking to Meltdowns

The book was compiled by Sally Cat and contains the insights of over 70 people who are diagnosed, self identify with PDA or live with someone who fits PDA. Over 350 pages dedicated to discussion on PDA and what it’s like living with this type of demand avoidance, it’s a fascinating insight to the lives of PDAers and the unique way the PDA mind works.

PDA by PDAers is great because it does what no other (currently available) book does, it shows PDA from the inside. It contains actual PDA people’s thoughts and opinions on themselves rather than an outside interpretation of our behaviour from non-PDAers.

The idea for the book came from Sally Cat’s desire to communicate PDA ‘as it is’ to the outside world ‘I felt inspired to communicate adult PDA to the now perhaps curious wider world via 20 PDA topics discussed in the adult PDA group'(PDA by PDA introduction 2018). She wanted to create a book that contained the unique communication style of PDAers within the adult facebook group ‘Another reason for my choice of discussion format for this book is that it’s PDA-friendly in that it’s kind of round table: there is no chief and we can all chip in as we feel inspired to do so, with no demands that we MUST.’

The book is spilt up into sections which cover different topics relating to PDA, including ‘PDA and Masking’, ‘Meltdowns’, ‘Coping Strategies’ and ‘Parenting’. This makes it easier to find certain bits of information and gives the book a good structure. Amongst the topics are graphs created by Sally Cat herself which give a handy visual display on each topic, helping to emphasise certain points within the topics as well.


Many of the topics also include blog posts from this very blog, chosen by Sally Cat, these help emphasise some of the topic subjects.

Also included are results from a statistical study done on certain traits and compares results from PDAers and non-PDAers, short polls done on each topic and a helpful glossary for some of the abbreviations within the book.


One of the reasons PDA by PDAers is so useful is because it allows readers to delve into the minds of actual PDAers, you get to see how they think, see how they react and respond to each other and the book retains the honest and real way of communicating that PDAers have.

It’s like peaking in on a secret conversation between a group of people.

With Sally Cat leading the subject topic, you get to read first hand accounts of what it’s like to be PDA, the specific struggles and positives and how each individual shares their little bits of their lives with the world. There are parts on coping strategies, parenting and work which detail some of the ways PDAers struggle and manage everyday life.

I would highly recommend PDA by PDAers. It explains life with PDA from those actually living it and allows readers to see the way PDAers think and feel about their own lives from their perspective. This is helpful for those living and working with PDAers because it opens the door into the PDA mind that they mind otherwise struggle to get access to. It also helps those who only know PDA children to see what it’s like to be a PDA adult. The book also can help those unsure if they are PDA by giving them a perspective on the way PDAers are which they may relate to.

You can buy PDA by PDAers in paperback form from Jessica Kingsley Publishing for £14.99

More reviews of books available about PDA can be found here.

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